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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27993393">Waltz again</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/monrat/pseuds/monrat'>monrat</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SEVENTEEN (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Character Death, Dreams, Emotions, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Past Abuse, Poetry, Sad Ending, Sexual Content, Short, Strangers to Lovers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:28:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,402</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27993393</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/monrat/pseuds/monrat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The world was nothing till Wonwoo was in his arms.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jeon Wonwoo/Wen Jun Hui | Jun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Waltz again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Wow I am literally a piece of shit. But yes, I am writing for the first time in the SVT tag, even though they are my ult group. Btw i didnt edit this and its not beta or anything.  Also theres some sort of mentioned abuse, it's not  graphic but just to warn ya! Pls read at ur owN risk hhh : [ also side note, there is a use of a slur</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Wonwoo?" Junhui's words are unstable, his breathing heavy. It's a dream again. It's bright and there's a painful longing in his chest."Wonwoo, are you there?"</p><p>A dream, a quiet dream. Junhui sees nothing but a figure in the distance of blinding white. He recognizes the shirt, the hair. Wonwoo turns around.</p><p>But Wonwoo never answered, he only smiled with such gentle intentions. Pretty.</p><p>Junhui closed his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>i had wished on a hopeful star,</em><br/>
<em>That i would forget your name in time.</em><br/>
<em>On that wish to only heal the scars,</em><br/>
<em>To forget I once called you mine.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Would you dance with me?" Wen Junhui met a flustered boy under christmas lights in the autumn. The masses are laughing in joy, celebrating.</p><p>A war had been won again. Junhui can't count which one anyways. The fifth? The seventh? He didn't care. Time passed by so quickly, as he paid no heed to it.</p><p>He's never been out here in the streets for a while. Always cooped up in work and his dingy apartment. But the news were very extravagant in announcing of victory, and Junhui was looking for a way out of the mountains of stacked files in his room.</p><p>Eventually, it lead Junhui here; leaning against a wall as couples rejoice on the streets. He's sipping on some free booze handed out by the mascots.</p><p>Junhui never responded at first, and instead takes note of the latter's fiddling. The boy resorting to nervously reply."I- I know, it's a strange thing to ask. I've just saw you here and-"</p><p>The boy sighed without continuing his sentence, Junhui quirking his eyebrow as he deflated, his dress shoes loosely dancing around each other."I'm sorry for quite the disturbance..."</p><p>He never was a dancer; well never was destined to be one so. Junhui worked in an office with papers and files and clips. He never saw the joy in it anymore like he used to. </p><p>Junhui looked around; the people dancing with glee in the streets. People crying. The lights are orange and bright, jazz music and trumpets muffled out in the footsteps of the festival. The afternoon sky dying before them.</p><p>"I'll dance with you."</p><p>The boy lights up, like the stars in the sky had so much more to hold. Junhui holds out his hand, and the boy takes it, dragging him.</p><p>And in the crowd, they spin and move, Junhui learned his name was Jeon Wonwoo.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>To who shall I promise in future's tomorrow?</em><br/>
<em>When you have gone to disappear tonight.</em><br/>
<em>I wished on a hopeful star more time to borrow,</em><br/>
<em>To wait for you in another daylight.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"I saw you," Kim Mingyu pointed threateningly at Wen Junhui.</p><p>They both stood under an umbrella at the cementery miles out of the city, attending the funeral of an aunt Junhui barely knew about. But still, his duties as a family member mattered. An honourable son, they said.</p><p>"You saw me?" Wen Junhui arched his eyebrow, motioning him to continue on the sentence. The cousin behind him weeps loudly, grief ringing through her wails.</p><p>Mingyu deadpanned, not sparing a glance."At the festival. You were making googly eyes with Jeon Wonwoo."</p><p>"So?" Wen Junhui asked nonchalantly,equally not catching the taken aback expression of Mingyu."He offered, I took it. We danced. That was all."</p><p>The priest blessed the coffin with holy water, tossing the bottle in his hand lightly as they lowered it into the ground.</p><p>The rain is faint, barely there but Junhui had rented this suit from a friend. It would be a shame if it got wet. He already got his shoes muddy anyways.</p><p>"Whatever. Don't do it again," Mingyu commented, worried with his eyes focused on the coffin."He's not the crowd you want to follow."</p><p>As Junhui watched the sky cry, he could only think of how Jeon Wonwoo had the prettiest eyes. How he laughed so quietly in that one moment, Junhui could never catch it if it ever passed by. How Wonwoo was somehow an intriguing person; and why Mingyu would ever think Wonwoo could mean trouble.</p><p> </p><p>"Dance with me?" Junhui meets Wonwoo again in the halls of a party.</p><p>The crowd smaller, the room enclosed. There are drinks, the smell of alcohol, perfume and glitter. The lights are dimmer, but Junhui knows better.</p><p>Junhui smiled out of kindness."Of course."</p><p>But it took more than dancing; careful hands making up their way onto the hem of Wonwoo's white blouse. Junhui's fingers running trails against the latter's skin, their bodies pressed together. It's smooth and soft, Junhui wanted to touch more. It was so painful, so slow.</p><p>Wonwoo looked at him with innocence, but Junhui could tell he wanted more on that dance floor too.</p><p>They kiss; in the stalls of a bathroom that was too clean for it's own good. Lips hungrily pressed together, roughly melting as Junhui encages Wonwoo against a wall. Junhui's hand grazes the underside of the boy's scapula.</p><p>Wonwoo squirms into his touch, grabbing onto Junhui's collar tightly as his legs wrap around his waist. The pale boy whined, breathing unsteady as Junhui left a trail of open mouth kisses onto Wonwoo's throat. </p><p>Junhui felt restricted in his pants, Wonwoo grinding up against his crotch. It's hot inside the bathroom, little to nothing ventilation as Junhui feels sweat building up on the side of his temple. </p><p>Pulling back, Junhui feels a bit breathless. Wonwoo, dress shirt almost ripping apart at the seams. His dark raven hair sticking out everywhere, lips glossy and red, a face flushed and eyes teary. Marks littered across his collarbones like a constellation. Junhui's head swarms in so much of need.</p><p>Maybe Junhui hasn't seen a sight as beautiful.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I had stayed in anybody else's warmth,</em><br/>
<em>Building walls to keep you away.</em><br/>
<em>For I wished on a hopeful star to keep away the storm,</em><br/>
<em>The emotions I refused to let stay.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"It's a nice book," Wonwoo had commented offhandly at the library.</p><p>For the first time, Wen Junhui meets him in daylight. The crowds nowhere, a few people and hushed exchanges as the soft humming of ceiling fans could only be heard.</p><p>Wen Junhui looks up from the random book he picked on the way."It is?"</p><p>"Yes," Wonwoo chuckled lightheartedly."It is."</p><p>Wen Junhui never conversed with people he slept with after. They'd share a glance, preferably an awkward exchange and never talk again. It was always that way.</p><p>But Wonwoo; Wonwoo was so giddy and he had so much joy to give. He had that little sparkle in his eyes, yearning for more. He wanted more from Junhui. What did Junhui had to offer that he just kept coming back?</p><p>It seemed the liveliness out of parties and drinking had been sucked out for Junhui. There was no fun, and Junhui couldn't even bother glancing anywhere else. There was no use attending after war parties no more, for the joy had grown in Wonwoo. </p><p>Wonwoo, who he meets too many times outside of dance halls and festivals. They share cups of coffee and letters tucked neatly and sealed with lavender. It's talking and walking and so much that Junhui wants to know about him.</p><p>They have sex again, and Junhui wakes up and forgets when he ever left those bruises last night on Wonwoo's abdomen. </p><p>Wonwoo blinked at him, a bit hazed before tilting his head."Good morning. How do you like your coffee?"</p><p>Junhui pushed away the white sheets, squinting his eyes before playfully responding back."I don't drink coffee."</p><p>And after a long day of a conversation exchanged on the phone with Wonwoo back at home, Junhui dreams of a flower field and a boy smiling at him back.</p><p> </p><p>"You've got it bad," Jeonghan says the first thing in the alley. He grabbed Junhui by the jacket, shaking him to his senses."Are you out of your goddamn mind?!"</p><p>"I don't see anything wrong with him," Junhui argued back, shoving Jeonghan away. The roads in the city are quiet sometimes on Sundays. Smoke and fog clouded the streets, the sky an awful grey.</p><p>Junhui just wanted a smoke. But Jeonghan had called him so many times, they had to meet somewhere somehow. Which led to the encounter in the alleyway of Jeonghan's workplace at the wrong side of the city.</p><p>Jeonghan gritted his teeth."Jun, you've got to stop seeing him. God knows what's gonna happen to you when this gets out."</p><p>Jeonghan was many things to Junhui; he was his ex lover turned somewhat friend. Well, they weren't very open about their relationship in the first place.</p><p>Secrets turned lies and more, to the point there was nothing left to lie about. Junhui can still recall the fleeting pain as Jeonghan looked at him dull and empty. This wasn't what he wanted anymore.</p><p>There are many things in life Junhui may have wanted; a father, a house of his own. A path he pursued, and a memory he'd hold to his death. But now, he wants to hold Wonwoo.</p><p>"I...." Junhui looked up, eyes vulnerable and guilty. Jeonghan is taken aback."I just... saw something in him you know?"</p><p>"And what was it, Jun?" Jeonghan spat, ridiculed by his words."Love? Is that it?"</p><p>Jeonghan pushed off Junhui with force, a faint thud against the pipes."You've got to stop fooling yourself, Jun. Another war is coming, and you won't see the light of morning if you keep dancing around in his arms."</p><p>But Junhui never listens; he likes the pain. The risk. He wants to dance with Wonwoo till the end.</p><p>Junhui closed his eyes; he can feel it again. Violins, a piano and a spotlight. Wonwoo is in that white dress shirt he wore the first time they met, his shoes a bit bigger because he borrowed them from someone he doesn't know. Their hands are intertwined, fingers locked as they smile and share giggles silently in a twirl. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>And the city may ask who do I cry to,</em><br/>
<em>But I shall only carve my lips with your names;</em><br/>
<em>To close my eyes once more to see you,</em><br/>
<em>To remind myself blindly through flickering flames</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"He's not here," Wonwoo says the first thing he opened the door. He peeked out the corridor, just for extra precaution.</p><p>The hallway is empty, carpeted floors and pillars stood high. Junhui doesn't remember any time he's been to somewhere this expensive. Jeonghan had worked here, if he recalled before.</p><p>Junhui shook that thought off and stepped in, a smile on his face."Good."</p><p>The couch is pushed to the side, windows closed and the lamp in the corner the only light allowed. Wonwoo is still in Junhui's arms, as the phonograph plays something distorted and off. </p><p>It's in the little steps they take; and Junhui knows every movement at this point. Wonwoo's grip around his waist as his head rested on Junhui's shoulders. They sway, the move so faintly. It's in everything Wonwoo moves that resembled a swan, and Junhui was nothing more but an enarmored man.</p><p>"I want to run away," Wonwoo hummed like his words were nothing."I want to go to a place like this... So quiet."</p><p>Junhui doesn't answer back, but he knows. He understands that. </p><p> </p><p>"Junhui, darling..." the old lady leaned against the table, smiling with sly intents."When are you getting a girlfriend?"</p><p>But Junhui knew, that his aunt's intentions were quite different. His aunt knows he's gay; yet she still asks. She wants Junhui to change.</p><p> <br/>
Junhui has watched the rare share of gay movies; where the family is mad, grief stricken to find out the son is gay. Followed by slurs, and countless harmful words. Junhui watched those movies and felt something die inside him everytime.</p><p>But traditional families were strange; there was something called dignity. Junhui had remembered his uncle showing such kindness to his neighbor, giving out a basket of fruits for New Year with a smile. But behind closed doors were judgments and words that shouldn't be said.</p><p>They never yelled nor showed any anger around anyone. Hospitality, was it called? Showing care for everyone like it was something they genuinely did. The way they fooled the french family next door; the british bakery down the street, the Choi's who owned the mansion.</p><p>The nice Wen's. The lovely Wen's. Oh so lovely. Aren't they such nice people?</p><p>It's that feeling of superiority. That ego both his uncle and aunt wanted to be fed constantly. The nice family. Nice to strangers, nice to everyone. But never nice to Junhui.</p><p>Junhui placed down his fork, chewing silently as he avoided eye contact as possible."Maybe when I get promoted next month. It sounds like a good time to start."</p><p>"Oh, your nephew is wonderful!" Mrs. Pencott had praised with so much expectations in her gaze."My son is quite the troublemaker, you see. You surely did raise Jun well."</p><p>His aunt laughs, shrugging it off kindly."You flatter me, I just want Jun to be his best. Right Jun?"</p><p>She's looking at Junhui, her face crinkling in her smile, but her eyes had warned him like an eagle. They screamed authority and danger.</p><p>Junhui knew how to do that too; so he smiled equally as bright to rival her, fooling himself with his own grateful tone."You only know what's best."</p><p>Junhui has learned how to lie to himself sometimes. </p><p>That night he ran into Wonwoo's arms, eyes teary and tired. He's exhausted of everything. Clutching onto Wonwoo on the old leather couch with so much strength, just so he can remind himself that Wonwoo's here. Wonwoo's here for him.</p><p>There are no words shared, nothing but little glances and Wonwoo leans in to leave a fleeting peck onto Junhui's forehead. And there, Junhui understood that there was somewhere he called home.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>And when the music plays I take your hand;</em><br/>
<em>Our steps light and a smile on your face,</em><br/>
<em>When the music plays, oh it shall be grand!</em><br/>
<em>For you had me moved in such magical ways.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Junhui."</p><p>He opened his eyes, blinking. The dance hall is fully lit, Wonwoo's hand knitted in his.</p><p>They're dressed nicely in suits, a tie snugly around his neck. Wonwoo is in that dress shirt again. The one Junhui loves so much.</p><p>The party is busy, drinks and glasses tossed around. Women wrapped in men's arms, laughing to stories they don't understand. The orchestra is playing a song that they don't know. </p><p>"Dance with me?" Wonwoo offered lightheartedly.</p><p>Junhui rolled his eyes, grabbing the latter's hand with a chuckle as they make their way to the dance floor.</p><p>The lights are blinding, but nothing could rival Wonwoo's cat like grin as Junhui twirls him, spins him like a prized possession and the world is spinning too. It's a dream; where no one can touch them both nor see them.</p><p>"If I said I was in love with you," Junhui breathed out, bringing Wonwoo's hand to his face with caution."Would you believe me?"</p><p>Wonwoo leaned in to kiss Junhui in the middle of the dance floor, slow and faintly. His breath brushing off Junhui's lips, a smile as his eyes never tear away."Yes."</p><p>Junhui never knew of a hundred stars till he saw them in Wonwoo's adoring gaze.</p><p> </p><p>"Junhui."</p><p>Mingyu pushed the latter out the door, along with his suitcase. It's three in the morning, Junhui had been abruptly woken up by a panicked Mingyu. It's too dark and too early, but Mingyu is all over the place.</p><p>Mingyu shoved a train ticket into Junhui's hands, frantically grabbing onto the boy."He knows! god, you've fucked up. Oh god, Junhui you have to run. He knows!"</p><p>"He knows, he knows what?! What are you trying to say?!" Junhui furrowed his eyebrows deeper, trying to calm down Mingyu. The boy is shaking, almost in tears.</p><p>"Junhui, Wonwoo's boyfriend knows about you two. You're going to die if you stay any longer. He's out for you, Junhui. You have to run!" Mingyu's voice breaks, holding into Junhui's hands.</p><p>Junhui remembers. How Wonwoo cried into his arms after that first dance. The way the trumpets and the crowds are cheering as the war is over, but Wonwoo's trembling because he's scared and trapped. He doesn't know where he is anymore in his life.</p><p>The marks of another man littered on Wonwoo's waist. He held onto them tightly, hoping Wonwoo only felt his fingers and not the kisses of him. The shoes Wonwoo threw away, because they were never his. They belonged to another man. Wonwoo belonged to another man. A dangerous man.</p><p>But Junhui never listens. </p><p>He runs. Not away, but towards Wonwoo. Wonwoo, Wonwoo, oh god. The thought runs through his mind as Junhui bolted across the fifth street. He could be miles away. He doesn't want him hurt. He wants to protect Wonwoo.</p><p>The apartment to Wonwoo's place is dead in the night, eerily quiet as the clouds rumbled. The lights were off, Junhui making out a group of silhuoettes by the entrance stairway. </p><p>Junhui stopped dead in his tracks, catching up to his breath as he sees Wonwoo. Wonwoo trembling in someone's hold. Tears streaming down his face, eyes red as he gazes at Junhui with so much fear. </p><p>"Jun! Please go!" Wonwoo begged."Please... Jun run!"</p><p>"So this is your little bitch?" The man wrapped his arm around Wonwoo's shoulders tighter, scoffing cockily. There's a gun in his hand, shining under little to nothing light.</p><p>"Fuck, Woo. I leave you for months and you're out here sucking some twink's dick?"</p><p>The men laugh in mockery, sneering as they all look at Jun with a glint of bloodlust in their gazes. But Jun doesn't care. Wonwoo's scared. Wonwoo's so scared, and Jun wants to take him away and run.</p><p>"Woo," The man drawled out, whispering closer into Wonwoo's ear, making the boy shiver. There's anger fueling in Junhui."You know what happens right?"</p><p>The man holds up his gun with a grin, Junhui reaches out in panic.</p><p>A gunshot rings through Junhui's ears.</p><p>He wants to scream, but it doesn't come out.</p><p>The sound echoes on concrete. Jun looks up to the dark sky, then back at Wonwoo to know he's still there.</p><p>"No! Jun!" Wonwoo screams in so much pain, its horrifying and it twists Jun's gut. Why...</p><p>But pain hits him dead in his chest first. Oh, the world was spinning. He staggers backwards, his body feeling lighter.</p><p>Junhui dreams, falling hard onto the concrete road on his back, an audible smack. It's pain, it's ringing through his ears like an annoying migraine that never went away. The world is spinning so much. Were the buildings always this tall...</p><p>Wonwoo rushes over to him, sirens blaring as red and blue flash over Wonwoo's panicked face, tears falling down his cheeks. Junhui wants to wipe them away, he wants to reach out. And it saddens him because he can't feel his hands.</p><p>"Jun- look at me- we are gonna get you to a hospital okay?" Wonwoo holds onto Junhui's arms, watching faint shadows of men pass by in the background. The world is spinning and it's bright. "Jun, hold on. Jun please."</p><p>"Wonwoo." Junhui's hoarse voice tried to speak up. There's so much blood. So much, spilling out. Junhui hates it. Blood on Wonwoo's white dress shirt. His nice white dress shirt. </p><p>Wonwoo choked back a sob, leaning in closer, biting his lips."Yes, baby what's wrong?"</p><p>Junhui looked at the sky, then glanced back at Wonwoo. He whispered gently. He wants Wonwoo to hear his words.</p><p>"Why are you so quiet?" </p><p> </p><p>The world is bright in Junhui's eyes. Where the violins play and the piano is gently touching off his fingers; and he's holding the world. A boy with dark curls and a gentle smile, the world is beautiful. </p><p>And Junhui dreams; he dreamt of a boy under Christmas lights in Autumn. The war had been won. He's wearing a white dress shirt and shoes too big. He asks for a dance and he realizes it wasn't a dream but a memory.</p><p>"Would you dance with me?"</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I had wished on a hopeful star one summer night,</em><br/>
<em>That whenever my eyes were closed I saw the world.</em><br/>
<em>The world was a boy with a smile too bright,</em><br/>
<em>And a laughter faintly unheard.</em>
</p><p>Fin.<br/>
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